[ story of life ]

‘cinta‘ tidak harus memiliki… tetapi ‘sayang‘ hanya ingin melihat orang yang dicintainya bahagia…, walaupun harus kehilangan…

arrgghhhh, study?? That’s it, i’m done.. no more kehidupan kampus, yang kadang nyebelin dan terkadang menyenangkan..

Now what? Pusinkkkkkk…..

1. chasing my dream, eventho harus involve yg namanya studying lagi…

2. work as employee, meskipun most of my bessie menentangnya…

3. work as a boss, bukan pilihan ini mah, tapi jalan, tinggal balik 4 good, tapi gua nya blom siap, masih totally messed up..

4. pengacara -> pengangguran banyak acara, mauuuuuu… tapi seminggu kemudian dipecat ortu jadi anak…

beside that, which city yang harus gua pilih?

1. Bandung, with all those sweet air and memories, perfect place to live, arrghhhh is everythin deh, eventho every weekend harus rela bermacet2 due to kunjungan orang jkt yang ga tau pada ngapain menuh2in bandung, my beloved town..

2. Jakarta, with all these crowd and traffic, blom lagi panasnya udjubile-luar biasa, kota yang sama skali ga mau  jadi tempat tinggal gua.. FYI, gua ke jakarta cuman buat study doank, kinda pelarian dikit deh, that’s it, no else.. So, ketika study gua dah kelar, mau ngapain lagi? Itu pertamanya, but in fact.., now?? udah lumayan kuat jakartaisme gua, sampe jadi bahan pertimbangan ketika seharusnya gua tinggal pindah ke bandung ketika menyelesaikan my study.. Luar biasa kan?? Apa yang menyebabkan hal itu? Lagi lagi another sweet memorieessss.. Ga kapok kapok bikin sweet memories gie? Hush, jangan salah, mungkin banyak kenangan terindah (by samsons) yang kita alami dan membekas di hati selamanya, tapi tidak sedikit juga kenangan pahit (by ???) yang kita mau buang jauh2 dari kehidupan kita juga.. The point is, mau itu manis ato pahit, sweet or bitter, mereka semua yang membuat kita makin solid, dalam hal ini  menumbuhkan cinta gua akan jakarta… huaaaaaa gimana atuhhhh cha? (kebiasaan nanya ke loe cha, heheuheue)….. Any idea or suggestion??

God please help me.., for making the best decicion…

She calls me baby, then she wont call me

says she adores me, and then ignores me

(******, What’s the problem?)

She keeps her distance, and sits on fences

puts up resistance, and builds defenses

(******, Whats the problem?)

You keep me hanging on the line

everytime you change your mind

First you say you wont, then you say you will

you keep me hanging on, but we’re not moving on

we’re standing still

******, you’ve got me on my knees

******, It’s killing me

(Original lyric by: The Click Five - Jenny)

dedicated to: someone.. Thanks for all those pain, girl…

Lagu Rindu

==

Bintang malam katakan padanya

Aku ingin melukis sinarmu di hatinya

Embun pagi sampaikan padanya

Biar ku dekap erat waktu dingin membelenggunya

–

Tahukah engkau wahai langit

Aku ingin bertemu membelai wajahnya

Kan ku pasang hiasan angkasa yang terindah

Hanya untuk dirinya

–

Lagu rindu ini kuciptakan

Hanya untuk bidadari hatiku tercinta

Walau hanya nada sederhana

Ijinkan ku ungkap segenap rasa dan kerinduan

==

(24th July 2007, dedicated to: my fairy-godmother)

You’re Beautiful

by James Blunt

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I’m sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won’t lose no sleep on that,
‘Cause I’ve got a plan.

You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful,
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don’t know what to do,
‘Cause I’ll never be with you.

Yes, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Flying/Fucking high,
And I don’t think that I’ll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last ’til the end.

You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don’t know what to do,
‘Cause I’ll never be with you.
You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it’s time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

[dedicated to: Aomy, -cutest angel on earth-, 29&30 May 2007, Jakarta]

…

if you feeling down, if you fell you need to get away,

you can just fly away…

if you feeling lone, if you feel you need to get away,

you can just fly away…

…

- inspirational moment (1-1-2007 - 00:01 am, Double-Six - Bali) -

this what i call, "Excellent Gombal Mastery"

how to do:

1. Grab ur girl/boy’s hand
2. Simply take a deep look at her/his eyes
3. Say the word below (pick one or more), word by word, calm but confident, deeply..
4. Cross ur finger and pray (for the best result =D)

Darling,

The day when you’re born…, it’s possible that it might be raining heavily.. Why is that? Because the heavens were weeping over the ONLY Angel descending onto earth…
I’m wonder to know, aren’t you hurting? When you fall from the sky?

Today when I return home, I will go get a GPS.. Why is that? Beacuse I realize I’m lost inside your heart.. I can’t find my way inside your heart..

There are many stars in the night sky, the stars are really beautiful.. But now at the moment, there are only two stars, and it’s much more beautiful than those stars. It’s your eyes.. Your eyes is the most beautiful stars..

Every night, I go out for a walk. At 9 pm I will walk to a place, do you know where that place is? Inside your HEART..

If you eat too much rice, you will get fat.
If you use too much money, you will feel heart pain.
Although you will become sad when you get old, but the more I look at you, the more I find you loveable..

If there are 100 people in this world that loves you, I am definitely among them..
If there are 10 people in this world that loves you, I am definitely among them too..
But if there is no one else left in this world that loves you, that means that I am no longer on this world because I can’t have you…

Eventhough I dislike spring, but I like the flowers.
Eventhough I dislike summer, but I like the rain.
Eventhough I dislike autumn, but I like the falling leaves.
Eventhough I dislike winter, but I like the falling snows.
Eventhough I dislike the world, but I like you only.. You are the whole world to me..

Actually… this morning… I went to see the eye doctor because my eyes were painful.. The doctor told me that my eyes were painful because…, my eyes have you in them, written all over it..

Do you know what color of the roses are? Since I met you, other than you, the rest of the world is black and white to me…

Do you know why I’m looking at you without any blink, even for one second with my eyes? To me, the moment when I blink my eyes is very precious for me as well..

Do you know why i like you? Because it is YOU…

I never believe in love at first sight. But today, there is someone that I trully fell in love with at first sight, and the person is you..

If the end of the world has come, let me be the one to go to hell.. you just go back to heaven..

Love is like a can.. Eventhough it will go out of shape, but it will not be destroyed..

Love you always honey…

- dedicated to: sapa sadja yang mungkin butuh n udah speechless =D -

Tes.. Tes… Testing Testing…

Ouh begini toh yang namanya bLog tuh, sekarang lagi trend kayanya, jadi pengen tau n penasaran juga deh apa rasanya bLogging tuh, hihihi..

So, how’s life guyz? some people said life’s suckz, the other said life’s beautiful.. some people said life’s full of happiness, while the other said life’s hurt and painfull to be face.. and many many people around the world believe that life is like a ball, or a tire, or whatever it is, it’s rounded.. sometimes on the top, and sometimes deep down on the edge.. yeah, that’s life (Frank Sinatra said, hehe)…

Wew, hidup.. Kadang seneng, kadang susah, kadang sedih, kadang nangis, kadang ketawa..

Bisa begitu ya? Sapa yang ngatur segalanya itu? Only Heaven Knows (kata Rick Price, hehehe)

U guys pasti tau rasanya:

- Ketawa lepas sampe ngakak-ngakak keluar aer mata n sakit perut segala, pas lagi ngumpul2 ama temen2

- Ketawa ketiwi cekikikan ketika ngeliat ada temen kita yang dijailin, or temen kita melakukan suatu hal bodoh

- Nangis bombay nyaris nangis darah malahan ketika sakit hati or alesan klise nya: "diputusin pacar" ato "patah hati"

- Nangis menitikkan air mata sambil nahan rasa sesek di dada, ketika kita disakiti dan bahkan dikecewakan oleh seseorang atau sesuatu

- Sedih karena ditinggal oleh seseorang, ditinggal pergi selama beberapa menit, jam, hari, bulan, tahun, bahkan selamanya (<<- this is pathetic, for sure!)

- Feeling Numb (kalo kata Linkin Park, hehe) ketika ada sesuatu hal yang tidak kita duga sama sekali terjadi pada diri kita

- Speechless, nothing to say, nothing to do

- Ngerasa kecil n minor ketika kita berada diantara orang-orang "besar"

- Ngerasa superior ketika kita berada diantara orang-orang "kecil"

- Ngerasa bangga ketika bisa melakukan suatu hal yang berguna bagi orang laen, dalam segala hal tentunya

- Ngerasa bersalah, ketika kita melukai hati temen kita akibat kebodohan dari kita sendiri

- Ngerasa bener, ketika orang lain melakukan kekhilafan dengan melimpahkan kesalahannya kepada kita

- And ngerasa beribu-ribu bahkan berjuta-juta perasaan lainnya yang kita sering alami dalam kehidupan kita

I just wonder to know, semua itu berasal dari mana, n sapa yang atur.. Apakah kita sendiri? Orang lain? Nobody knows…